These days there are hybrid work schedules impacting work-life balance that detach people from in-person relations. There are online social networks that thrive on distractions rather than connections. So much can be done from one’s own couch, that it becomes harder and harder to ever leave it.
“You don’t get known in an online community. You get known in person,” says Diane Berkers.
The inevitable question that Berkers asks is, “For people who work from home and want to meet other people, where do you go?”
And so, she took the initiative to start up Park Bench Friendships. Those who would like to sit in the park with others, and receive the connectivity shared through this social experience, can join and know that “you don’t’ have to speak; you can just show up. It’s a place to be, and be heard.”
Every Monday since May 6, 2024, between 10am and noon, Park Bench Friendships meets at the picnic tables in North Shore Park. An average of six to eight people attend, and her idea is to keep it simple.
“Let’s just boil it down to a chair, a coffee and a single place to meet that’s safe for everybody,” she said.
There are introverts and extroverts, but it’s not about social networking, and there is no talk about work or politics.
“It’s just a safe space for the everyday average Joe, who’s not part of any scene, to simply hang out, and have reason to get up and get out just for a conversation,” she said. Without reservation, Berkers welcomes anyone and everyone to sit in the park without feeling any pressure to do or say anything—just show up.
A self-described introvert, Berkers exudes genuine warmth, sincere empathy and a nurturing spirit. Having recently recovered from breast cancer, she shares that during her treatments, as uncomfortable as she was, she knew she needed to get out of the house.
“I got into a group of women, and I was completely taken care of. They provided me meals, hugs and fabulous car rides to my appointments, and because I had this community of women around me, my whole life was at peace,” Berkers said. “It made that whole season of life that much easier for me and my family, and I thought, this is what community is … this is what we need.”
Grateful for the social group that carried her through cancer, she combined her community-consciousness with a desire to pay-it-forward.
“If I can create a place for people to find their people – find people who get you – that’s my heart,” said Berkers.
Today, many people struggle to admit that they’re lonely because they feel a stigma toward loneliness. That can be so corrosive to one’s sense of self-worth. Loneliness and social isolation lead to depression, anxiety, mental health issues, and shortened life span. Humans are social beings who need social contact. One prominent phrase of the covid pandemic was “social distancing,” which foreshadowed an under-the-radar pandemic-to-come, in which we have become habitually more socially-distanced from each other than ever before.
Gerontologists around the world have often cited a common ingredient for the healthy longevity of those who live in ‘Blue Zones’ is their social dynamic, in which there is a place to go for people to recalibrate, be positively affected, get outside, get those endorphins and vitamin D, while connecting to others in the community in a safe and easy way, without pressure or expectation.
Berkers emulates this idea through Park Bench Friendships. Sometimes she receives emails from people who tell her this is exactly what they need, and what they feel, but they’re not yet brave enough to show up. She encourages everyone to just show up and know that you are welcome. For many people it’s like rewiring one’s self, and that’s not an easy thing to do, but taking that first step is so rewarding.
There is such an uplifting feeling and sense of belonging and accomplishment in sitting in the lush green park by the river, with the warm gentle breeze and a growing community of people who are accepting, smiling and looking forward to Mondays. Berker’s hope is that this idea for how to expand communities goes global; that people in other towns recognize the value of this need for community, social connectivity and conversation; to have a safe and open space to share what’s on their minds and in the hearts, and just meet.
For now, Berkers is content knowing that everyone who shows up, whether to participate in whatever conversation organically unfolds, or just to sip a coffee in silence, around others in a non-judgemental space, are all welcome, and all leave feeling better about themselves and about their day.
“I’m happy with the simplicity of this,” she says with a smile.
