MYTHS & TRUTHS (in the world of funeral service)
THIS INFORMATION IS OFFERED TO THE PUBLIC THROUGH: Rutherford Cremation and Funeral Services / 804 Ontario St., Stratford, Ontario N5A 3K1 / [email protected] / www.jarfh.com / 519-271-5062
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In my decades of serving people, there have been many comments made that are incorrect concerning the field of funeral service from folks who were misinformed or not informed at all. And so, Rutherford Cremation & Funeral Services’ number one function before services rendered, is the offering of complete but concise information. These are a few of the predominant issues that have come up while serving the public in my field of compassionate care. I hope it is informative.
URNS:
Funeral homes have urns, or can obtain urns, that range in price from approximately $200 to $5,000. Metal urns, wooden urns, stone urns, composite urns, biodegradable urns – there is no shortage to choose from. Urns hold remains from a cremation or aquamation and lend a certain dignity to a funeral service if you want the remains present at the service. What folks often don’t know is that they don’t necessarily need one. It is perfectly acceptable to bury remains in the receptacle they come back from the crematorium or aquamation site in. There is only one reason why an urn becomes a necessity and that is when remains are being placed in a glass fronted niche in a Columbarium. Usually glass front niches are in separate buildings within the cemetery. A Columbarium is an above ground structure in a cemetery that holds urns filled with remains. Another option would be to bring a receptacle to the funeral home that can be filled with the remains. I’ve put people in some interesting objects – a lady (the family baker) in the family cookie jar, a fireman in a fire extinguisher, a husband and wife who worked on a naval vessel into an empty shell! These objects can often be very personal to a family, objects that hold tremendous meaning. If someone wants to keep cremated or aquamated remains at home in a place of honour, an urn or family heirloom is often the desired option.
VAULTS:
Sometimes, when someone is buried in a cemetery, you’ll see the casket or the urn go into what’s called a “vault.” A vault is an outer protection for a casket or urn. In some cases, and in some areas in a cemetery, a vault is a requirement due to the ground in the location where the burial is happening. In some areas the ground can be more compromised than in other sections, (a downhill slope or damper location) and so a vault is needed. Most often it is not a necessity. An “urn vault” is almost never needed but it does provide space around the urn itself to place personal items into, such as notes and cards, jewellery or family keepsakes that hold meaning to the family or the deceased. The placement of objects can be a very poignant part of a burial service.
CREMATED / AQUAMATED REMAINS:
The term “ashes” for cremated or aquamated remains is not accurate. “Ashes” implies the result that you would get from a wood fire – remains that can be blown away easily in the wind. Not so. Remains from a fire cremation are beige in colour and similar to coarse sand. From a water aquamation they are white and like talcum powder, and there is about 15-20% more as aquamation is a gentler process and does not leave an environmental footprint like cremation or traditional body burial. Both remains are comprised of our bones. That is all. The scattering of remains is not illegal. There are certain rules that are supposed to be observed, but in general, cremated or aquamated remains are allowed to be scattered on water or Crown Land but not private property.
AQUAMATION:
Aquamation (and green burial) is the most environmentally friendly option of disposition we have in Canada right now. There are not a bunch of harmful chemicals being used. It is a combination of water and alkali, both of which occur in our soil. Aquamation mimics that process of decomposition when someone is buried in the ground without a casket, it merely speeds up the process. It is one of two non-toxic and clean options that this country has.
NEWSPAPER NOTICES:
Obituaries are always a good thing. They provide the general public information that someone has died and I have had many a call from people who were informed through an obituary about a friend or colleague or even a family member. The placing of an obituary in a newspaper is not required. Some folks I’ve served have been under the impression that it must be done. It doesn’t. On funeral home websites the obituary is free of charge and often that is enough, depending upon the circumstances surrounding someone’s life. There could, however, be people in another city that you want to make aware through the local paper. The main reason some people do not place a notice in a particular paper is because of the cost or the deceased was well on in age and all those who knew them have passed on already and there either will be no public service or the service will be through invitation only. That said – an obituary somewhere is a good idea even if it is short.
THE BODY:
In my decades of funeral service to the public, there have been some disturbing stories that have come back to me regarding things that have happened to the body of a decedent. Here are the myths I’ve heard, that I will hopefully dispel now:
There are never organs removed from a body by a funeral director. Any organs that were harvested were done so by a physician and with the permission of the family or the deceased. There are never any limbs adjusted in any way that would damage the integrity of the human body. If an individual does not fit into a regular sized casket, the funeral home will order an oversized casket. While a human body goes through specific changes after a death occurs, there is never a severe “reflex” that would have the deceased sit up or “animate” in any way. In addition, embalming of a body is done as a temporary disinfection and preservation for viewing purposes only. Embalming is not a requirement, although as Rutherford Cremation & Funeral Services does and probably most funeral homes do – if the body is not embalmed but a visitation or service is desired with the body present, the casket will not be opened for the public. In the province of Ontario, it is mandatory that the body be taken to the crematorium in a safe and rigid container. It is illegal to have a human body cremated outside of being in a casket or cremation container. With Aquamation, a rigid container is not required.
RENTAL CASKET:
Most funeral homes will have a rental casket in which there is an insert of another (often pine) wooden box, specifically for a cremation to be carried out after a funeral service has taken place. When the service is complete and guests have left, the insert can be removed with the deceased in it and that is what goes to the crematorium. The rental casket can cost as much as a mid-grade purchased casket, however, rental caskets are a way to have a very solid and much more expensive looking casket at a service without purchasing the casket outright. With many funeral homes, the casket is used a specific number of times, before it goes to the crematorium with a decedent in it. You can, however, get very lovely caskets at the cost of a rental casket.
COSTS:
When looking at a funeral home contract, the costs in the services offered are usually broken down into three main categories. You will see costs listed for:
PROFESSIONAL & STAFF SERVICES: meaning professional fees, coordinating rites and services, documentation, preparation of remains, transport of remains, staffing, facilities, vehicles, etc. SUPPLIES: meaning things you purchase like a casket or an urn, cremation jewellery, vault, stationery, etc. DISBURSEMENTS: meaning things the funeral home pays for on your behalf, that go to second parties and are put into the funeral home contract – like the cost of the cremation fee that gets paid to the crematorium, or the cost of a newspaper notice that gets paid to the newspaper, or the municipal death registration fee to register the death at the city. Others might be a clergy honorarium, or flower costs, etc.
These three sub-headings under any one of the funeral home packages, comprise the entire contract. Within those sub-headings things may be removed if not needed or added if desired, depending upon what you wish to do.
THINGS TO NOTE: Without sitting down with a funeral director and going over your specific wishes, there are only two types of services that can be quoted over the phone in their entirety, including all applicable taxes right off the bat – a basic direct cremation or a basic direct aquamation. The reason these two can be quoted complete is due to the fact that there are no real variables in them. They are pretty straightforward. Be aware that sometimes, when a funeral home tells you the cost of a service, or you see the service on a price list, it is probably the cost of only the Professional & Staff Services and not the supplies or disbursements that would go into that service. Why? Because, as mentioned, other than a basic direct cremation or aquamation, the funeral home can’t know what supplies you want or what disbursements are needed or desired without going over the options with you. But they can give you the cost of the Professional and Staff Services because those are the funeral home’s costs. The other things depend upon what you want to do. So, always make sure you know what a funeral home is quoting you.
RUTHERFORD CREMATION & FUNERAL SERVICES:
Contrary to some folks having thought that Rutherford’s doesn’t exist after the old dark and dingy funeral home was sold on Albert Street – having moved into our bright space on Ontario Street, we very much do exist! In the full capacity of any funeral establishment. But because we don’t have the usual overhead other funeral homes have, we cost less. In fact, we are here as a source of information far beyond merely taking care of folks when someone has died. Rutherford’s is a teaching funeral home and as such, we reach out to the public and offer Information on all things related to estate and end-of-life affairs. Our main mandate is to educate first and then serve. If you want straight information and all the information, please get your questions answered. It is empowering.
UNTIL SOON. LIVE WELL.
INFORMATION IS EMPOWERING. IT WON’T KILL YOU. LIVE WELL.
