YOU DON’T KNOW HOW IN CONTROL YOU ARE WITH YOUR END-OF-LIFE WISHES
Have you ever been asked what is sometimes deemed a simple, straightforward question by someone and realized the answer is not as simple as the question purports it to be? The reason for that is partially because questions, in their asking, sometimes hold within them all of the attachments and assumptions made by the one asking. Here’s an example: “Do you believe in God?” The question holds within it two very interesting things – an assumption that the person receiving it believes or does not believe in the God that the questioner has in mind – and the question implies that the person receiving it should give a yes or no answer. A more revealing and thoughtful question might be “what does God mean to you?” And so it goes, with many things. The questions we ask are most often based upon the “yes” or “no” answer and based upon what we already think we know.
Questions can sometimes be a gauze that we shyly speak through, and answers – a truth through which we filter what is acceptable or unacceptable to ourselves. In a service industry such as I work in, it is, or should at least be recognized, that the person asking any question would not necessarily be fully informed about even the question they are asking. And so, it behooves those of us in service to the public, to clarify and inform. To not wait to be asked. The foundational word for the public to rest their conviction on is in the word “service” which implies a few things.
It should be automatically accepted, without doubt, that the answer to anyone’s question be thorough, honest and provide additional information related to the question asked. In other words, there is a responsibility upon the giver of information. Hence, my column here or my varied posts on FaceBook, whether informational or philosophical, are all written from the seat of that service. That is number one and that is also why I absolutely love the questions – because people have stretched themselves enough to ask them before receiving the answers that confirm or refute what they wondered about.
Let not the questions go unasked and let not the answers fall short. To clarify and inform is the very beginning of that service we provide at Rutherford Cremation & Funeral Services, because like you, I will need the service I myself provide one day, and I, quite frankly, want to live and die knowing that I have served well. Getting people informed is at the very beginning of that. And what’s more – I’m okay with doing that in any way that I can. Get every question you’ve ever had that you thought was too silly, too weird, too big, too small, too obscure – answered.
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What are the answers I need to know for the funeral home paperwork when someone dies? How can I make things as easy as possible for my family? What are the options for my TFSA when I die? What happens when someone dies in a hospital? In a hospice? In a long-term care facility? At their residence? What are the three types of wills that are recognized in the Province of Ontario and what are the pros and cons of each? How do I read a funeral home contract? What are the ways I can keep costs down and make my funeral more affordable for my family? How in control am I? What are the two types of prearrangements I can make and how do they work? Why is it a good idea to prearrange my wishes? What is aquamation and how does it work? What are the benefits of doing an aquamation and what are the benefits of doing a cremation? What do I need to update at the cemetery regarding my burial? What are the costs for purchasing a plot? A niche? What are the costs to be paid when someone dies and is buried? What is the procedure for obtaining permission for MAiD? How is MAiD done? What are the safeguards in carrying it out? What is probate? Is it necessary for my estate? What are the rules? How and why would I donate my body and for how long? Can my family still have my remains after the time period is up? What is the cost for body donation and is it the same thing as organ donation? What is a “Death Doula” and what do they do? What should I know to make my own end-of-life decisions? What are some of the myths and truths about funeral service that I’ve heard concerning costs, urns, vaults, aquamation, obituaries, caskets, etc… What does the funeral home do for me regarding paperwork and what is it that I have to do?
INFORMATION IS EMPOWERING. IT WON’T KILL YOU. LIVE WELL.
